STUDENT HANDBOOK, SECTION V: DRESS CODE Subsection dccclxiv: Saluki, female
1: The Corpus.
A female Saluki should be between 160 and 170 centimeters tall. Long shaggy ears are compulsory. Eyes are compulsory; they should be dark and sensitive and, like the ears, must be two in number. Muzzles should be long and slender, with strong teeth that meet in an even bite. The neck should be long and supple; the chest narrow and androgynous; and the body well-muscled without being coarse. The pelt should be smooth, short, and silky, in the purest white available; keratin is preferable, but plastic fibre is acceptable with written permission from the Dean's office. Tails should be kept long and curved, with slight feathering. The overall impression should be of a graceful, athletic young woman.
2: The Uniform.
Blazers must have full sleeves and buttons. Acceptable colors are fuschia, goldenrod, cyan, flamingo, and pistachio; all of the above must be present. The front pocket must bear the Ecole Anesthetique insignia, a red octagon with the word "GREEN" at the center in white text. Students may wear a plain white polo shirt beneath the blazer, but a neon green nylon leash must be worn in place of a tie. Skirt hems must not fall below the knee, and should be black fabric hand-embroidered with gold or silver icons of cartoon microbes engaged in whimsical sporting activities. Hats are permissible for field work; this must be a pith helmet of bright pink plastic, with either feathers or a brightly colored fish mounted on a spring. Stockings must simulate a building material, preferably marble or finished wood. Knee-length moon boots, with rainbow-colored chevrons and no visible laces, are mandatory.
"The reason that some portraits don't look true to life is that some people make no effort to resemble their pictures." -- Salvador Dali
Ivoire was a respected Dean at the "Ecole Anesthetique". This is a place where Topwarp's eccentrics gathered for the rigorous study of meaninglessness. (OOCly inspired by the work and bizarre behavior of early Surrealists like Alfred Jarry and Andre Breton) Ivoire got where she was by following the Ecole's doctrine of how paradox and insanity should be CORRECTLY explored. She played the very proper lunatic, avoiding mere childish displays of the absurd in favor of writing endless clever monographs about it.
Ivoire's studies in automatic writing got her involved in neo-Boreal philosophy and she became such a true believer that her contacts in that faction started to avoid her. She took a heretical view that consciousness was a "seedling," with three layers. The seedcoat, the foodstock, and the germinant inside. If put into practice through meditation and careful cultivation of spiritual imbalance, Ivoire theorized, a germinant could be transplanted into an artificial seedcoat created in a work of fiction.
Of course, Ivoire no longer exists. Bored with her life of stuffy respectability, she started her life over so she could make some REAL trouble. After months of carefully lopsiding her chakras, she tore her weakened spirit in three and planted her germ in an academic dossier for a student who didn't exist. The paper Ivy was a problem student, known for indoctrinaire interpretations of the curriculum, and displays of sentimentality inappropriate to a sincere Absurdist. The real Ivy is much the same, but a little more ambitious and a little smarter than she or her unimpressive record lets on.
Ivy is rumored to be Ivoire's daughter by natural pregnancy, and Ivy herself believes this. She has kept many memories of Ivoire's ambitions and regrets, but remembers them as stories her mother told her about herself. Ivy's in the Mess to break hearts, lose bets, create scandals, meddle in affairs, and find all the "easter eggs" she missed the first time through life. As far as she or anyone else knows, she is an ordinary freshman at the Ecole, studying for a career as a professional art-warrior. Once a week, she receives a new assignment in social manipulation, generated at random using surrealist methodology. This will be something vague, bizarre, and playful like "apply frosting," or "get felines thinking about plums." If she doesn't follow them, there are no real consequences, but she pretends there are if the assignment is something she wanted to do anyhow.
Ivy is cheerful, fun-loving, crafty, and a little cold. She doesn't take other people's feelings too seriously. She looks at social occasions as opportunities, for what though she is not yet sure. She is also a terrible flirt and has no concern for sensibilities. She will sunbathe in the snow, if she feels like it, or wear an electrified suit of armor at a Bottom orgy. When she is cruel, she is playfully cruel, like a cat. When she is kind, it is well enough for her. She has no fear of being disapproved of. She knows she's already won once.