Other Ways of Looking at Things: 'The End of Gay', by Bert Archer, starting with how the concept of Homosexual was invented in the 1800's and going on to state that there are only Sexual Acts, not Identity
And another book (which I will be asking my Russian friend for again) in which an essay talks about how Soviets, because they didn't have Stonewall (and, thus, a revolutionary take on sexuality), seperate their Identity from their Sexuality. Thus, everyone is Heterosexual, but how they have sex is just them having sex, not their Identity.
Some call "fetishes" a grossly unhealthy thing, an unhealthy obsession with something. Some call "fetishes" a perfectly normal thing, which shouldn't even be called "fetishes". They're just different tastes. Some treat it like something unusual, some make it part of their everyday life, and even more try to force them out of their lives intirely. Some call them chemical, some call them societal, and some still think they're learned and trained.
There is more debate on what a "fetish" is than "sexuality" or "gender".