Buzz

OOC NOTE

Since there are really very few technological or natural limitations to instant (maybe even retroactive) communication, The Mess presumably has more than its share of messaging networks. Oddly, access to these is rarely played out or even referred to on Puzzlebox. Is that an effect of character preference, in that such things lose their fascination in a world of immortals where nobody really has to be in a hurry? Or is it just the lack of an OOC method for delivering these messages?

This page is meant to simulate a hypothetical, presumably telepathic and instantaneous, public posting and messenging service available to all willing residents of the Mess. I hope it will be a useful method for players, especially newbies, to spread plot information and get involved with other players' plots without having to encounter one another "face-to-face" online. All messages here may be considered public knowledge. Feel free to add new categories. If enough players find this service distracting or abusable, we will definitely consider deleting it.

GOSSIP AND HEARSAY

• Fashion Advice from Blip: Octopus is the new black.

• Seems that the weaponed hedgepig has got himself a Cult of Outboxers. They ennact strange rituals involving intellectually worshipping Frostbyte and culminate their esoteric scientific research in acts of Puzzleboxian sex and metamorphing. This seems to be some sort of public adaption service provided by Frostbyte, although a few people reckon it's possibly some kind of doomsday plot. Sweet William seems to be in charge of organising rites, rituals, and so on, as a good Secretary Should.

• Several Gridshaman are claiming that something odd is going to happen in Down soon. Apparently the equilibrium of the elemental forces has been upset, or something. At least stuff does seem to be rusting a little faster than usual, and there are unconfirmed reports of flowers sprouting, blossoming and dying, sometimes within minutes. Reality may be a little more sticky than usual in that Warp for a few days.
  • Forget that, it already happened. All it turned out to be was a minor reality-quake, plus a small ugly creature appeared.

• Rumor has it that 16 attacked Eli in the Museum. Not that it proved effective.

• A long lost Zip has been spotted, though not confirmed, heading towards the Puzzlebox.

• The Cube Tree's new seedlings have been planted across the Warps. Go, receive their wisdom.

• One of the symptoms of Strange's viral infection is that the Warp itself hallucinates not having the virus. Right? So how do I know that I'm not living in a world where the Strangevirus has become a pandemic and I'm one of millions who are hallucinating being healthy? -- Love, <3ofadog
  • Please don't start that wheels-within-wheels shtick, it only leads to paranoia and confusion. My head hurts enough already without having to deal with that sort of thing. -Kayle
    • Paranoia and confusion are legitimate lifestyle choices. However, nothing has to be real unless you want it to. I already have the answer I was looking for. -- Love, <3ofadog

• There's a brief audio clip posted to the datasphere entitled "Kayle got Implant" The text-equivalent of the audio file is "Do rumors spread on their own here or something? I only just got the damn thing installed last night..." In addition there's a comment posted asking "Why's he so hot and bothered about something he just got installed?" One responce suggests it has to do with the nature of the implant.
  • I guess they do. It's still noneya'damnbidness. -Kayle

• It has been said that somewhere deep in the heart of Nikolai's former lab there is a pool of magic mirror, and that when submerged in this pool, one can control the very bones of the ancient robot's body.
  • It's happened. The Party's moved to Charm Bottom wherever it is now. Come join!

• Besax will be holding a Bake Sale.
  • Who's he baking?
    • Someone no one will miss.

• Inhatti insists she, and the whole of the Strangevirus, had nothing to do with Theeka's very public disappearance. She promises terrible things to whoever did this to her sister.
  • It's rumored that Nikolai engineered the entire abduction and deception, for some odd purpose. It's also said that Ibael knows this, and Theeka has been returned. Then again, Ibael also claims to have been Theeka herself. It might just be more Lies.

• A while ago a star-shaped aero-craft arrived in Downwarp, floated bright and quiet as snowflakes over the Ballard freeway. Near the Cyclotron Forest it stopped and people flew down from it. When they returned they brought something big and triangular with them. They looked like Star-Lemurs!

• Rumour has it Zee has found the sword, the Scone of Morning, xe was searching for. What xe plans to do with the sword remains unknown, as our informant says it was sworn to secrecy.

• Star-shaped aero-craft have been seen near Mt. Vinge in Topwarp.

MISSING PERSONS

• Well, part of a person. Most of Volarian's memories. Could be encoded in anything particularly information-dense (100+ years of memory is a lot of data), but will probably have an affinity for spiders, heat, webs, machinery, and the like. It may be in pieces, scattered about. A longer plot may or may not grow out of this.

• To: Hekatzon From: Starfoot --- We're having a party, but we don't know where to send your invitation. Please call-- You know the number! Also, Gorogoro says hello-the-day!
  • To: Starfoot From: Hekatzon --- [A picture of a pinwheel. When the pinwheel spins, it makes a sound like an ancient aero-plane's propeller.]

PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGES

• A video-feed has been posted here on behalf of The Roma Cycle, by Cornelius. Those interested in learning more about The Roma Cycle and how they can live out a more meaningful existence should contact Cornelius directly via the datasphere.
  • A review from GrayZero: I do highly reccomend it; it is quite entertaining. I do believe was laughing for several minutes afterward. For the creators, my advice is to tone down your ambitions a bit.
    • My, I just had a laugh myself. Why is it you continue to harp and offer worthless advice to me, even as I have deemed you an inferior creature not worth my concern? Keep your useless data to yourself, those amonst you are trying to accomplish things. - Cornelius
      • All sentients make mistakes. I make the mistake of assuming I can influence anyone. You make the mistake of dismissing me. Alas, imperfection. --GrayZero
  • I have been searching for you. You are highly promising. -Project 16

• Be safe, be healthy! The new threat of the Mess is upon us, and only you can prevent it! Click Here for details!

• Data Exchange Courtyard has re-opened to the public after an unscheduled fission release disrupted services. Upwarp Maintenance apologizes for any inconvenience this may have caused. All citizens are urged to check themselves and their belongings for possible radioactive contamination. Have a safe day.

• Due to the latest occurence in Down, it is noted for all sentients and non-sentients to please keep their selves in check for the betterment of our collective conviviality. The anomaly is currently under strict quarantine until it's nature is determined. Will those who were involved please report themselves to the SMC for debriefing; any and all information will be gladly appreciated.

• MindLab

In response to his experiences with respect to Toy programing and other sorts of personality overlays (and a lack of security with respect to same), Altis founded the MindLab structure in Gamma Sector, Upwarp. MindLab is a self-serve personality workshop, allowing people to safely make temporary or permanent changes to their own personalities, whether for recreation, research, or therapy.

• Non-sentient Exhibitors needed to showcase their art-not-art in the Museum.

• The New Temple of the Strut is currently accepting associations by interested bodies. When the Puzzle sent {her} message, causing the Strut to pendulum across Ballard, it was a Sign. We can be found in Down, just dial in 555-882 and listen to the message of.

• Upwarp Admin wishes to provide a reminder that casual visitation to Upwarp Omega Sector is discouraged. Please consult Upwarp dataterminals for further information.

Respect the Spectrum! Radiation Rules for Proper Up-Minded Citizens

(copy of a note posted to Upwarp PSA boards, a day after an EMP burst spanned several blocks, causing confusion and annoyance)

As we live in an age of wonders, our citizenry want for nothing. But lack of material concerns does not transfer to lack of discipline! Irresponsible use of energy can lead to power outages, disruption of service, cancers of the body, and even genetic mutation.

All citizens of Upwarp should remind themselves of their responsibility when dealing with energy:

• Some transuranics have a half-life measured in years, decades, or centuries. Always dispose of excess dust in the proper receptacles. Consult with a custodian, if needed.
• Proper fusion devices should emit no alpha, beta, or gamma radiation. If you sense improper emanations in your vicinity, note the source and report this information immediately.
• Radiation poisoning symptoms include a metallic taste in the mouth, blurriness of vision, increased risk of infection, incontinence, and uncontrollable bleeding. If you or someone you know exhibits such symptoms, immediately file a report with a custodian or health officer.
• Electro-Magnetic Pulse, or EMP, can be generated by atomic fission or by specialized reactions. EMP that disrupts the power grid or radio transmissions is disrespectful to others. Report such impropriety to your local custodian.
• Radiation, complex chemicals, polymorphism, and StrangeVirus can cause mutation, an undesirable alteration of your genetic code. Be sure to have samples of your genetic code stored in a safe, secure place. Have regular samples of your tissue examined for improper deviation.

Drafted and endorsed by a quorum of the Love, Peace, and Freedom Party (Upwarp, Cluster Lambda), time-stamped 92814718944.334 (PSO-238)

SERVICES AND ARTISANAL MATTER OFFERED

• Rare oddities from Transylvania, both wonderful and bizarre. Curses, clothing from the cities, countercurses, and tales to be traded, or given freely. Contatct Selena Belmont for details.

• I can fix things, and I can whittle. I'm good with internal combustion engines. I direly need something to do. -- Morty
  • Call me! I might have use for you! -digital kiss-

• Research services, intensive computational cycles, and engineering of unusual technologies offered. Will accept information, unusual technology, or appropriate services in trade. Data Exchange Guarantee of Quality in Services. Contact System via response to this board or via direct approach.

Update: Marriage ceremonies also performed, free of charge.

• We have countless and many and countless memories and skills and things. We love delicious trades, we love acquiring new memories. Offer yourself to us, or merely little tokens like your memories or knowledge to us! We also take the occasional service. And, you are even allowed to still have your memories and knowledge! To contact us, merely stand in a lonely corner, anywhere, even in the datasphere, and scream for Hydra. We will hear you, if you do it right. Oh, and we even do nice things occasionally. Or mean. Just ask us to help you, we know so much. Much more than dear System about a lot and lot of things, though dear System is pretty good on extradimensional physics and such. We also do weddings.

• Various artistic and technical services are available for offer in the Data Exchange market. In the pyramid complex, Upwarp Zeta Sector, just past the main courtyard. Space also available for new stalls for vendors; contact System if you desire to set up a new stall.

• Free psychotherapy sessions available, for research purposes. Feel great without ever having to take a personality modification pill or giving yourself permanent amnesia! Contact Karrie for details.

SERVICES AND ARTISANAL MATTER SOUGHT

• Seeking a discreet, unscrupulous individual capable of being unfailingly polite and patient - or feigning the same - upon demand, for several simple messenger, delivery, and research missions. Will pay handsomely in the form of otherwise unattainable craft items. Please respond via this channel. No Topwarp residents need apply.

UPDATE Offer withdrawn; information obtained by other means. Same party now seeks procurement of rare artisanal fabrics in large lots. No questions asked; all offers accepted.

REPLY The Architecture offers a great deal of fine goods at low prices. Please contact Besax or Desmond for further information.

REPLY Down with the Architecture! They have no sense of good color. Come to the Transia in Bottom! Contact Mareil for details!

• Someone has stolen an important book. Details on any Tome of Rites which originates in Topwarp may be sent to Angos Khonwyr via the mailbox next to the ferry for Mount Vinge. Once your information has been verified, a reward may be forthcoming.
  • (OOC NOTE: This mailbox does exist.)

• ASSASSIN REQUESTED: Life grows dull and listless! Please hunt me down and kill me so as to help me reassert my lust for life! -Muphreesrot
  • Now that you've had dozens of amateur assassins chasing you for a while, how are you feeling?
    • Exhilerated! Life is growing shorter and shorter, and more and more vivid!
      • You should contract a real assassin... -- Morty

• Some order addict has decided the Ballard needed to be 'sorted' [An image is posted of wrecks on the freeway arranged in neat 3x3 squares]. Anyone mind coming over and helping set it right?
  • [Another video file is attached, timestamped less than five minutes after the posting, and lasting just about an hour. It shows dozens of Downwarpers all working together to push wrecks back into random positions. It looks like they're having a great time doing it, too, the whole thing turned into something like a big party]
    • I told him it would all be back to normal within a day, but did he listen? Nooo... -Kayle
      • Your disorganizing antics in the name of Chaos are futile. Order can be disrupted, but it cannot be denied. By this very posting my objective has been fulfilled and my work garnished. I thank you for your assistance in achieving my goals, cretins. Atleast when pushed the right ways you can serve some purpose. - Cornelius
        • I would certainly advise a little more respect if you wish your views to be taken seriously. -GrayZero

• System requires to speak with a certain crow, who knows who it is, to discuss the exchange of information about its research. Please seek (her) out at your earliest convenience.

• Maichirona is interested in acquiring the services of a healer. Interested parties should quickmail her their qualifications at their earliest convenience.

• Actors! Executive Producer seeks actors in the vein of... Well... Just about anything. But particularly demons, preferably with tentacles. Flexible hours, pay includes catering, your name (or an alias) in the credits, good sex, and whatever other compensation you deem necessary. For information, contact Daria. -digital kiss-

TECHNICAL AND ACADEMIC DATA

• REGARDING STRANGEVIRUS RUMOURS: Several months ago we did run a disinfection of a most unusual sort -- removing the StrangeVirus from an actual building. However while this was aided largely by the suggestion of Nikolai to quickly convert all the Virus into its primordial form, we cannot confirm that we in fact used this highly unorthodox and dangerous technique. Rest assured that if we had, we would not have restored the Laboratory to its former location. --The SMC
• Confirmation of the status of the publically-accessible Omega Sector in Upwarp as a decoy has been made. The true Omega Sector is accessible via the Tra<TRANSMISSIONTERMINATEDDATACORRUPTED>
• Do the Cube Tree seedlings and saplings know something we don't? [We speak gibberish].