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Does anyone around here have a sense of shame? |
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Does anyone around here have a sense of shame? I'd better go before I start to show through my hoop-skirt. |
You're not dead anymore. You're in another body. Don't be afraid of the forest you're in
There is a camera built into the journal. Use it. And keep notes. Trust me on this -- I'm you, only you don't remember.
You keep returning to your death, for some reason. I wish it would stop.
[picture of a feminine feline, in her mid to late teens -- very pierced, with ray guns]
She seems helpful. She works in a lab, on Toys like the Nobles have. Had? She seems confused about death, tho. Backup system? So I can't be destroyed? Is that how the Nobles were immortal? Don't expect the laws of physics to work like you expect. There is much Glamour here. Her name is Schizzy -- the cat-girl. Don't forget that. The Backup system doesn't seem to work for me. I can create more than food! Raw materials to work with! I really am Noble now! **Make an outfit for Schizzy to thank her.She seemed to like it. Look for the razor belt to know if she's wearing it. ** Schizzy says to avoid the red mirror!
[picture of a short, stout man -- dressed in a primitive way]
Possible costume reference? Okay, now he has a giant bug-head. A battle? "Eli was poisoned by this cruel creature; Variable ready to give her life to kill it." Einar is his name -- he can use that sword I'm letting him crash in the apartment -- perhaps he can protect me. Assuming he doesn't flip out and kill me himself. Atazael was the name of the thing he killed.
[picture of a futuristic dragon armed with nightstick-like tasps]
These are tasps -- the nightsticks. A mercy weapon -- stimulates the pleasure center. Not very polite, methinks. "I have not intended insult; I am merely stating inference. My name is Engineering Vats Project 16 of Tritus Labs, LLC., but for the sake of efficiency you may refer to me as 16." It seems to be a thug by trade. Looking for a master? Looking for a kangaroo in Up? System? Says 'roo's name is Cornelius 16 is a big fan of order and purpose despite being drugged emotionless -- I can relate He seems kinda lost and almost childlike, for all his programming as a thug Heh, I like him, scary as he is. He calls me a 'dataminer' Might also be looking for Mel, head of the Museum What the heck is the Museum?
[picture of a thin vixen in a leather harness]
Eh? She went and touched the dragon-thing! Ugh, she smells like an unfixed cat!
[picture of a tribal dark grey vulpinoid]
Okay...He tries to filch things! Be careful. Thinks the whorefox is sexy. Has the memories of both his parents? Interesting. Aaron, son of Kehari and Jeremy
[picture of an albino squirrel in a purple band uniform]
What the? Cute, tho. The male fox is afraid of it. Museum curator? Its name is Squizzle. So cute! "It's a mutually beneficial relationship, certainly. The Museum gets exhibits, and the artists get public appreciation."
Note to self: Try to find a better place to live. Perhaps somewhere in Down. Lots of stuff to fix there.Go to Down, then up the stairs, through the forest, to the skyscraper. That's the Rookery. Off of the terraces is your home, or squat. Look for the green wallpaper and the teddy bear. Wow, this IS a different body. I wish I had a razor now.
[picture of a polar bear in a lavender toga]
This is Talia. She gives hugs. She smells sort of flowery. Perhaps a little dippy. Energetic, too.
[picture of the Nexus]
The battle of the bug-head happened here? A Curator tried to stop it?
[picture of a chameleon dragon in a Tibetian li-shu robe]
Her name is Camilla. Seems nice so far. She seems to think altercations in the Nexus -- and violence in general -- are common. ** Acquire bodyguard/weapons? Perhaps one of Schizzy's Toys? **Carve her something -- she seems so sadI gave it to her, she seemed to like it.
[picture of a raver coyote]
Induction-Coil, or Indi for short. Knows a few Eisenstimmen, will mention I'm looking for them. Seems nice, though a little harried.
[picture of a woman in a suit with a pyramid-mimir floating nearby]
"It depends on what skills you have to offer. I can swap orderchips or data for services or information..." "System, Director of the Data Exchange, at your service." "I, myself, am a scientific probe, and have established the Data Exchange to assist in data-gathering." She talks a little strange but she seems nice enough. This place could use more order. "Strangewarp is past the red mirror. It and Charmwarp, past the purple mirror, both have significant strands of subversion of the will, although Charmwarp's subversion is more easily avoided, in most cases." "Orderchips are a storage medium for anentropic energy produced by myself, designed to discharge their stored energy upon activation. They have various beneficial effects on sentients." "Not everybody here is nice. Most of those who are not are Strangeinfected, although there are exceptions. The 'bug-head'- Atazael, it sounds like- is one of the Strangetainted." She says she'd appreciate the project of looking into why I can't interact with the backup system. I like her. I think we understand each other. Even if we fight entropy differently. Law juris? She's a robot underneath the skin! She may be a robot, but she might as well be human. She may be dedicated to order, but she can laugh and appreciate beauty and try to stop another's pain.
[picture of a blue husky]
His name is 89. He gave me candy. Is everyone here so nice? Why do they fight, then? He has memory problems too... Perhaps that's why he has a sketchbook...
[picture of a nondescript mutt in a jumpsuit]
89 drew a sketch of this person and then forgot about it. "My gender never did matter." Wants to hide? Favorite food: "Raisin and powdered spinroot upon a crust filled with stuffing."
[picture of a fox in a spacesuit-cum-uniform]
Taisgeal mac Balgair? A champion of law, justice, honor, glory, and destiny... Finally a constable in this place. Law lex? System says: "In any event, the law lex is the formalised code established by some government, that represents its commands. The law juris is the abstract concept of justice, good order, and fairness." She's from "Upwarp Zeta Sector" -- go to the mirror in the square of Down and from the Nexus to Up
[picture of a flamecat awash in velvet]
"I go to Strange sometimes. It doesn't want me." What the Hell does THAT mean?
[picture of a mass of data corruption]
This thing fought with System. It claims that chaos is friendly to order. Infected with the Strangevirus, whatever that is? Its name is a hiss, signifying nothing. I shall call it Nemesis. Even if it wants to be called U2
[sketch of swirling data corruption]
She seeks to control 89 through his genitals. I wonder what her real agenda is. Why do I think she's female? Is it because so many of the people I've met so far seem to be? Is that even true? ** snag orderchip from System so I can visit Library in Strange GrayZero -- To clarify, if I may: "Mother" used to be what that being called itself, back when it assumed all were its children. Playing along used to help. It lives in the Rookery! Interesting. I'd consider moving if I hadn't seen it drink tea.
[picture of a latex frilled dragon, in mid-movement]
System says: "Morty, this is Syzygy. She and I are planning to have her act as father to my children." I'm not even going to ask how the Hell that would work. ** note to self: practice looking unsurprised, I think this is a survival trait
[picture of a gray vixen, slightly pixellated]
"sister" to System? that would explain the pixelation "If I may be so bold as to respond directly - no, we are in no way related. Indeed, we are often at odds with each other." System says: "Etiel is my sister; she once was a node of the Hydra network, before being disconnected from it and connected to Prime." GrayZero -- "I suppose you could call me more of a representation of spirituality. Somewhere in between." She called Nemesis "Mother". ???!! priestess of the Puzzlebox?
[picture of a silver-haired humanoid in Victorian clothes, extending her hand]
This is T'sais. Seems friendly, doesn't like System's mode of speech, tho. (I think it's charming.)
[picture of a ferretoid with a cyber-visor]
Nemesis calls it Besax. But is that really its name? He doesn't seem to like Nemesis. His real name is Eli. Nemesis says he's really the demon "Besax", whatever that is. Again, I wonder what the real agenda of Nemesis is, and why she cares about the ferret.
[picture of a steel-masked construct, erect]
Gamma? It kissed Aaron! He seemed surprised. Shocked, even. Hydra? Hmmm, some sort of plural entity with a catchy song associated with it.
[picture of a gecko girl in a jumpsuit]
Variable. Friend of Eli. She's a neighbor! Seems nice. Oh, she says Indi is a neighbor, too. Interesting. Not from the Mess. Is anyone native to here? Eli and her seem to think someone called Inhatti is to be avoided -- the current "incarnation" of Atazael? So nice, yet so sad, even when among friends. What was done to her? What does this place do to those who are beautiful inside? ** Perhaps that is a purpose I can serve. Perhaps I need to find 16 for his help. Killing malcontents does nothing, thanks to the fucking backup system. So much pain, repeated. We must imprision them -- or find Mortality, and kill them there. ** Less profound goal: Find and meet Squeak. He sounds like fun. ** Figure out how to do a warding circle, like the Subarbanites used to use against the Nobles This might be useful against Nemesis, since she is my neighbor. Perhaps the people in Up or Top might know something?
I am tired of waking up to my own screams. I look at what I've written -- what I don't remember writing. All the little goals I've set for myself. And the people... the things. My friends? There would've been a time that the sight of them would had me convulsing. Somewhere between here and Mortality, I became jaded, and forgot that I did. But it's still with me. Here's a goal for you, Morty: Who is this?[picture of a humanzee in overalls]
That isn't you, but it is. It's the body I'm using to write this. But it isn't mine. It isn't yours. Whose is it? How did you find your way to The Mess? And why did you make yourself forget? You used to know more than you do now. Recapture it, Morty. I'm not sure the "wiser" verision of you, of me, made the right decision. Assuming all this isn't a fever dream.
Slide your fingers carefully over a three-ring binder, and it will writhe, rings closing and opening in too-sharp mechanical ejaculations. Keep it up until it exausts itself and the rings hang open, fluttering slightly. Massage the metal spine, careful of snapping rings. Itch the bolts that hold the spine to the plastic, nudging your fingernails under and flexing. God Himself will thank you when you're done; usually not even He is capable of such a miracle, pleasing a three-ring binder so thoroughly.
Fuck this angsty bullshit. I'm going back to bed. Tho Einar snores like a diesel truck.
Well, good morning to me. What was WRONG with me last night? I have to wonder... I remember waking up in the ass-end of the night in a panic, gasping, when I was twelve. I was afraid I was going to die. It happened again and again during the divorce. Could this be a return of those panic attacks? Maybe I didn't know that much, but I tore what I did know out of the journal in a fit of pique. For that matter, what happened to this journal? It didn't have a camera or face when I lived in Mortality, assuming it's the same one. It smells the same. I'd tear out last night's page except I'm determined not to lose stuff anymore. ** Morty, as you read this, no matter how long it is, no matter how painful it is, it's better than forgetting, OK?
[picture of an albino anthropomorphic ferret with a normal ferret on his shoulder]
Runa and Chester -- big ferret and little ferret. The big ferret is very energetic and chipper, and the small one says I shouldn't encourage him. The small one also knew my name, he says I have a "data label" in The Mess's "datasphere". I'm not sure I like the sound of that. Maybe System would know something about that. "Newcomers can be so much fun. They blush and shout and get upset and make things so much more interesting." Chester: "He's an aspect of Glal's personality given form." So, okay, I guess this Glal can attend more frenetic parties now. Is there anything that's impossible here? Dying, I guess. Chester: "Glal is an Upwarp resident who decided to remove his chaotic aspects to improve himself." I'm not sure losing one's sense of whimsy is an improvement.
[picture of an plush gryphon]
This is Torque... A flying stuffed animal. Would that I could own such a thing.
So, I followed System so she could do some tests on me. System: "This is Upwarp Alpha Sector, which is the reception area for Upwarp. Upwarp is organised into sectors by the dominant Upwarp government, 'Up-Prime', each for a different purpose. I live in Zeta Sector, which is reserved for those who reject Up-Prime's authority. All sectors are accessible via the Transit System." The transit system reminds me of the monorail system the architects in Mortality could never get the Council to pay for. System says my conciousness is really in this book, controlling my body like a puppet! What the Hell?! She says putting the book down will break the link. I want to try it. If you're reading this and you're in a bedroom with a neat bed and System, you'll know what happened. System: "Your former body could not recall who he was, although he was aware enough to know that this was Upwarp, and he believed he originated in Downwarp. As you asked to see if I could find a volunteer to host you if this experiment proceeded as expected, I asked your former body to send a Bubbledoll here. As I said to you earlier, they are the only people likely to willingly subsume their will to host another's." Well, that's sort of a relief. I don't like the idea of taking someone over on purpose. System is going to do some modelling and see if she can come up with a more lasting sort of memory for me. She also gave me an orderchip, so I can explore the Strange now. And she's allowed me to join the Data Exchange. I mean, after all, I DO gather a lot of data.[picture of an oversexed lavender catgirl swathed in bubblewrap]
This is the volunteer body. I'm not sure I'm 100% happy about being a girl. How do I use the bathroom? Okay, well, it seems that I'm only a woman from the waist up. Given this is a place where a robot is having the babies of a female dragon, I should have expected this.
Okay, I'm going to try to visit the library in Strange. Note to self:Whatever happens, do not remove the orderchip.
not much time you must got to building, go inside this door everything even inanimate objects look sick more like a corrupt church than library IT HURTS BUT AFAiD TO REMOVE CHIP there must be a way out get out of strange get out so you can remove the chip the mirror is an escape -- REMOVE THE CHIP!!!
Okay, I'm back in the Nexus, so I removed the chip. I think I visited the Strange. It's tough to say, because as far as I can tell, the orderchip made the journal TOO efficient. The last hour has been a blur, because it kept replacing my recent memories with my old ones, with a fresh memory of death, feeding on the anti-entropic energy. I need to talk to System about this.
Another day. Everything seems the same. But there are pages missing from the journal. Did I do something while in Strange? You know, I seem to know this place better than I think I do... at least, better than I think I do conciously. Up seems too... technological. I wonder what it's like in Top? Hey, this is nice. Nothing for me to do -- a little too perfect -- but very low-tech, at least on the surface. The plants are nice.[photo of TopWarp]
Okay, where to now, Morty? There seems to be very few people around. Um, okay, this is nice except for the huge insect hives. So, okay, the principles is this place are dignity, chastity, and wisdom, in the form of politness, sex with discresion, and art. I can deal with that. Augh! Don't trace the symbols on a tombstone! Luckily I seem to have found my way back... Nice forest.[photo of the Forest Expanse in Top]
In memory of what? Hmmm, ruins of some sort of technological facility. Is this what they're remembering? Here's an inscription. I'll write it down:
-This is a memorial to a memory of a place that cannot stand the test of time. Those who have come will destroy those who were here first, and will despoil the beauty of this place, taking from it what they will in the name of their own destiny made manifest through will alone. The forests will burn, the land will suffer, the water will turn to poison, and all of this will die. Those made to live in this world, those primordial guardians and creatures of many myths, will be the first to go, exterminated as one would not suffer vermin to live. Perhaps, then, this is for the best- that those who died never got to see the world they so loved reduced to nothing of its former glories. This land is a memory made manifest, in remberance of both those who came and those who were created, both as they would leave the world they lived in.-
I don't understand. The forests are here... Huh, a sleeping dragon lives atop the peak.[photo of Onya]
Okay, these ruins are interesting, on a flat bit atop the other mountain. Particularly this, below the ruins:[photo of the Night Gardens]
Enough plants. Let's see what else there is... This Elysium place seems interesting...[photo of a humanoid fox wearing a bow-tie and the medal of a Magistrate]
This fox greeted me when I arrived at Elysium... Jeremy. Magistrate of Elysium, charged by the Throne. Seems polite enough. Tho that's the law, isn't it? He's not a native to this place. "Well, there's several groups under the Victorian Retrotech Collective. Elysium was one of the more liberal of the set, seeking to preserve the sense of antiquity without the suffering." "It's more... well, like a 'theme park' than a real society. Which is good." "I have an engineer named Torque who comes in to check things. Much of the castle is clockwork automated." "I'm afraid Elysium is more of a thing of the past. This place once held hundreds, even thousands. Now it holds... maybe 4 or 5." This guy knows Eisenstimmen. Everyone seems to know one yet I can't meet one. I think I like this hoop dress better than the bubble wrap. "I just slept in a state of suspended animation for about a century..." He misses his home. Earth. Which some say doesn't exist. I wish I'd heard of it. Why are so many people I meet so wistful? Is it possible for nice people to be happy in this place? "Don't let the medal fool you. I'm just a parking attendant and welcome guide." He seems concerned the backup system introduces a certain corruption to the copy. This guy is Aaron's father! I think I like "dad" better. More serious. About Aaron: "I thought it was a good idea, and still do -- but he's so troublesome. He's to be wed to Blake here and settle in Elysium, would you believe? He... took advantage of her." "Aaron... tempted her with the secret pleasures she wasn't to know about until they were explained delicately according to Elysian ritual. Unfortunately, Aaron taught her such directly." "Blake worships him. Her eyes glaze in his presence. She's intoxicated with these new feelings..." ** note to self: talk to Blake and/or Aaron about this -- this sounds like trouble Heh, is this what I've come to? I feel like a meddlesome old woman. But what else is there to do? There is no police. I mean, it sounds like Jeremy is describing rape. ** I need to introduce Jeremy to some people who can keep him safe outside of Elysium ** This place needs a prison. I want to build it. Perhaps System can help me build some place like Mortality.
Mirrors are a form of transport. I think I knew that, subconciously, but I want to write that down, because... It feels like it's been a long time since I got out. There are more pages missing from the journal.
[photo of a black-backed jackal in a black uniform]
Jeremy seems to like the looks of her, given the way he just leered at her. Jeremy regarding the jackal: "I think that's Ataxia. From what I know, she's either psychologically or physically dangerous, but never both. No offense, of course." Ataxia: "Now, I refrained from killing you, even when it meant so much to me, Jeremy... I think that's pretty restrained..." Ataxia: "William believes that, to give life meaning again, or some rot like that, the backup system must be abolished. At least, Strange William does. Sweet William... well, who knows." William isn't registered with the backup system? I'm wondering if I don't agree with this William person she and Jeremy are talking about. I think the lack of death is part of what made the Nobles so cruel. Ataxia: "And, yes, there are (two Williams). One's dangerous, the other worships Frostbyte." Jeremy: "I certainly would prefer the backup system be there. Don't get me wrong. I just don't know if it's good enough to be so flippant about life and death." The Glamour... or is it a technology? that creates things from nothing is called the "instantiator" -- this place has its own jargon Jeremy: "The place where the white squirrel lives. The Museum? It doesn't have an instantiator or a backup system. But it's safer than out here." Me: "I assume the Museum has... guards? Why can't anyone hurt you?" Jeremy: "It... just can't happen. I don't know how to explain it, but when you're in the Museum, you're... preserved." ** I need to talk to some of the Curators about this. Jeremy, listing Curators: "A white squirrel. A vixen that never is without a book to read. A dayglow green plastic dragon. A cat made of pages. A lion made of wood." ** make a teddy bear with a vest and glasses for Jeremy ** stuffed jackal? I think he's using this conversation to hit on Ataxia. The lure of a dangerous woman?
[photo of an armless latex kitten-girl]
Jeremy addressed her as Sabina. Seems rather friendly, tho she keeps talking about a "mistress"... Some sort of Noble toy? I find myself interested despite myself. Sabina: "Don't worry hon, it happens. The hand thing I mean. It took me awhile to get used to not having them too." I'm afraid to ask. Sabina: "I know Roque, she turned my friend Robin into a puppy. Nice girl, a little strange though. I think she decided to be crippled now." Sabina: "Are you insinuating I did this to myself? Besax MELTED my arms you twerp!" Man, it's not hard to make Jeremy cringe. Sabina: ""That sounds very unpleasant. Maybe that's why you forget. You are trying not to remember the dream and in the process you black out the previous memories and everything."
[photo of an ice blue hedgehog in a loincloth]
Sabina calls him "Master Frostbyte" Um, okay, I've had girlfriends suck on my finger before, but not with that much... attention... Does anyone around here have a sense of shame? I'd better go before I start to show through my hoop-skirt.